What’s Your Motivation For Disciplining Children?

There are certainly a variety of methods that have proven effective when it comes to disciplining children.

  • There’s the “go grab that switch and then I’ll whip ya with it” OR…
  • The “stick your nose in the corner and don’t you dare turn around to see all the fun that’s being had behind you” approach. OR…
  • Perhaps like the picture above you need to get highly specific to make sure the punishment fits the crime and has some redeeming qualities built into it. And also makes for great footage.

Whatever the punishment you decide to dole out, do consider these words from Tedd Tripp in Shepherding a Child’s Heart:

Sadly, most correction occurs as a by-product of children being an embarrassment or an irritation.”

I admit, I fight the embarrassment motivation off pretty well, and it’s tempting! As a pastor and school administrator, now with a kindergartener (and a couple yellow lights under his belt), I have those meandering thoughts of how my kids are making me look. Ultimately, though, I don’t think my 2-year-old’s inclination to draw on the piano with a sharpie means I’m a bad dad (what’s a few less white keys??)

But it’s that second motivation that gave me pause when I read it–an irritation. Look, I don’t feel guilty for saying that my kids irritate me sometimes. We decided to have several kids close together.  That means at any given moment, with 4 kids 5 and under, there are at least two kids whining about something and one antagonizing another. It’s a symphony of chaos and beauty.

Yet how many times have I used my irritation as a catalyst for discipline? Ugh…Dang you, Tedd with two d’s.

But it’s true. I’ve disciplined out of that motivation with great regularity over the years. Thus the point of the book, namely, parenting is about shepherding hearts. Being near and corralling and leading and guiding…not getting irritated and dictating or blasting.

Discipline is intended to bring about the fruit of peace and righteousness according to Hebrews 12:10-11.

  • God disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Discipline is training.

So we must ask, how is my disciplining training? What lesson am I teaching? What principle is being reinforced? How is the heart of God being communicated? If they get what I’m teaching them, how will they be better off later?

This raises the bar in parenting, in education, and in other settings where discipline is part of the job description. But there is grace for parents and educators. Thanks be to God! Regardless of how it’s been in your home, classroom, or wherever, today is today.

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One thought on “What’s Your Motivation For Disciplining Children?

  1. Pingback: Out of the chopper and onto the lawnmower–more on parenting | Anxious to Impart

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